Couple walking on foot bridge

Couples Counselling Helps a Marriage Survive an Affair…

Many couples attend marriage counselling for the first time after discovering an affair by their partner.

Specialist marriage counselling for the affair will help couples navigate these difficult times and challenging circumstances to best manage the current damage and minimise future damage to their marriage and family.

The harm to a marriage caused by an affair is often too complex for couples to struggle through without the professional help of a qualified and experienced couples counsellor.

We have found that when a couple seeks marriage counselling soon after the the discovery of an affair or infidelity, the strong negative feelings do not remain as strong and as present.

The impact on the ‘injured partner’ is significant and should not be minimized, downplayed, or ignored. An injured partner does experience a wide range of feelings such as fear, anger, anxiety, depression, guilt and shame.

It’s important to remember that your partner’s affair results from their decision to have an affair and that the affair is not your fault.

Through marriage counselling, couples can reclaim and rebuild a ‘loving marriage’ through helping couples understand the larger picture of what happened in the past, what has recently happened, and how it all happened. followed by what is likely to happen going forward.

The marriage counsellor will assist the couple to develop an understanding of how their marriage reached the point where it became vulnerable to an affair.

Understanding how and why affairs occur is vital. This is often complex with many contributing factors that span across different times and developmental periods of the marriage.

Restoring trust, confidence and security in the marriage following an affair often draws on each person’s full commitment and capability to mange high levels of conflict and emotional turbulence, as well as emotional and physical distancing.

A marriage counsellor will help to address and resolve the critical questions the couple have at this time. The counsellor will then develop a relevant and explicit strategy that enables the couple to safely manage and work through their marriage crisis.

Couples counselling provides strategies to ‘get through the affair….. a road map’ for the couple to follow and move forward in life as they attempt to navigate and understand the complexities that they are now faced with. The couple need to learn how to reclaim their trust in the other, the connection to each other, their positive beliefs and assumptions in each other, to regain their sense of safety and predictability in their marriage, and to regain intimacy and togetherness.

Essential to the recovery process, is the readiness for both partners to reinvest themselves into their marriage. Whilst there are many ways to work through this, the emphasis of our approach is to focus on taking responsibility and gaining understanding rather than assigning blame to either person. This provides and environment to regain trust and a positive future for your marriage.

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