Man kissing his girlfriend

Intimacy: Everybody wants it, not everyone can maintain it

Everybody wants it, not everyone can achieve it. The desire to express and experience intimacy is a natural human trait, yet many relationships are starved of this at different times throughout the relationship.

Some couples experience a lack of intimacy after a short time together. The sad reality is that many couples do not know how to reclaim this valuable aspect to their relationship.

Intimacy Matters

Expressing and experiencing intimacy takes many shapes and forms, but the real challenge is finding a way to establish intimacy as a primary and ongoing characteristic of the relationship.

When couples first come together intimacy is typically sensational and each person carries the expectation that it will last forever.

Few couples realise that great relationships come ‘dressed-up in overalls and look like work’. Intimacy is something we learn as we go and people are likely to make mistakes in the process. The lessons of intimacy begin in our formative years, our first teachers were our parents.

Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.

Mother Teresa

If you were to inquire of others whether they desire the same relationship as that of their parents, few people would say yes. The rest is learnt from what we observe and experience from society.

Problems with intimacy arise when it is used as a form of equity transaction where a give and take mentality operates. It almost guarantees that intimate relationships will never be able to develop a deep level of intimacy with each other.

How to Find Intimacy

When one wants to be really intimate with another, they must firstly, allow their core selves to be exposed. Then, they must open up and join with another in an accepting way.

Knowing oneself has long been understood as one of the most challenging steps taken by a person, but necessary both in experiencing true intimacy and improving their life.

People need emotional closeness and intimacy like they need food, water, and shelter. This need is not limited to any specific cultural group, but is universal. It is a need across all aspects of our lives. If we don’t have intimacy we suffer greatly and our suffering happens in isolation.

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